Saturday, September 7, 2013

Come what may... & LOVE it.

Lets just say that the beginning of this week was not one of the brightest of my days. It was just flat out... HARD. I didn't see myself getting out of that rut any time soon. It is hard to miss your best friend every second but know that he is e x a c t l y where he is supposed to be. It is hard to miss my family & my home-- whenever I get bits of home at my home away from home, my heart aches. I miss my big teddy bear Joshy teasing me- but never failing to make me smile. I miss my grandmas hugs and long talks where she would let me ramble about the same things over & over again. I my Randy's laugh-- if you haven't heard his laugh, you've missed out. I miss hanging out with my sister & shopping with someone who knows whats up. I miss talking to Jess about all my medical nerdy stuff. I miss my Sophie.
It is hard to be an adult, to get myself to get groceries, do my laundry, keep a budget, get to class, do homework, study, study, study, work, go to church, try to forget for a second that my whole entire world has changed & there is absolutely nothing I can do about it but "press forward..." (i'll get back to the meaning of that later in this post.)
Well anyways all these things that are so 'hard' in my life are also things that I wouldn't change. I have learned SO much about myself being down here. In high school I thought I knew myself but I also second guessed my every move. I was so unsure about so many things. College has helped me realize who I am & who I am going to be & what is really important in life. So what is so important? I'll tell you...

  • Family 
  • Education
  • Religion 
  • Love
  • Phone calls
  • Kindness
  • Goals

I say family because you don't realize how important some people are to your puzzle until your not with them 24/7. Being away from home has made me feel SO thankful that I have the wonderful family that I do!
Education is the whole reason you are here. You need to absorb it. Your paying thousand of dollars, you might as well enjoy it.
Religion, It really doesn't matter your faith. You have to have something to hold onto. I had a silly thought today walking home from class... "The government knows me by a number, I'm just a freaking number!" well a few moments "Well I guess what really matters is that Heavenly Father knows my NAME!"I'm such a nerd! hahahaha.
Love is so important to me for multiple reasons. I love Braxton with all my heart & without love, I don't know if I could do this. It has been so hard not to talk to him all the time & to stay super positive in all our contact.
Phone calls can be a life saver on a lonely night. I have had this multiple times...
Kindness is important! No matter where you are in life. You don't know what someone has gone through, is going through or what they will go through... BE NICE.
Goals, goals, goals are so important. Along with time management!

Anyways, while I was in my self pity for a good 3 days. I felt like it wasn't going to end & I didn't know what to do. Well Wednesday I went to institute. & I read a scripture that was a slap in the face for me to wake up & stop the crap.
2 Nephi 31: 19-20
"... for ye have not come thus far save it by the word of Christ with unshaken faith relying wholly upon the merits of him who is mighty save.
20. "Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God & of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward feasting upon the words of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the father: ye shall have eternal life."
Well, lets break this down a bit. "ye must press forward" I needed to hear that, I need to go on!
"having a perfect brightness of hope" lets just say I was feeling pretty hopeless...
"and a love of God" I think I just needed the reminder of the things that were going on in my life were for my good (see D&C 121:7)
"if ye shall press forward feasting upon the words of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the father: ye shall have eternal life" That made me think that if I endure to the end, if I press forward, If I maintain my faith, I will have eternal life AKA happiness. So I drug myself out of a hole from just reading two verses from the scriptures. Pretty cool if I do say so myself.

I'm doing so much better. Also if you look at quotes on pinterest... they help too (:

I couldn't just pick one.
Hope you feel a little happier after reading this.

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